the straight shooter.

The (virtual, one-sided, unrequited) relationship between a reader and a blogger is a romance. A promising prospect (of either the online blogger or real-life-person-you-interact-with variety) enters the scene, and excitement brews in the air. You do your vetting for both (for the real-time person, maybe via Facebook or by asking the party-in-question’s friends, “sooo…what’s so-and-so’s deal?” and with blogs, you read the most recent posts, then go to the “About Me,” and then you might systematically go through the archives). All the information can be framed positively, and the newness of it is intoxicating. You think you’ve found The One.

Unfortunately, not all romances can sustain such enchantment. I’m not at the stage of a breakup with this one, and a small part of me is holding out hope that this is just a rough patch and we’ll be back on track soon. The blog has many wonderful qualities, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable committing to it right now. On the other hand, when there’s so much advice for a girl to settle in today’s world, maybe I shouldn’t be so picky.

Elefantitas Alegres is a self-described “Teller of Tall Tales. Sipper of Bubbly Libations. Home Chef Wannabe. Cinematic Snob. Fiend of Cheese. Owner of a Loud Mouth.” She lives in Dallas with her husband Evs and their dog. She’s pregnant (ALL of my bloggers are with child now). Went to Wake Forest and then Baylor for law school. She does some sort of immigration law, and she finds it a much better fit than her first job in fancy corporate law. She’s a great cook, and she posts weekly recipe roundups with reviews of what she made the previous week. Her writing is good, and her posts are full of funny cultural references, deadpan humor, sass, and astute little insights about life. She’s great. She truly is. But something’s just not sitting right these days. I’d love for her to do a site redesign, to lose a bit of her sailor’s mouth, and to stop saying things like “sad panda,” but I think I should know better than to try to change a blogger.

(Photo courtesy of Elefantitas Alegres)


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