There is a long list of things I’m bad at (though being afraid of looking ignorant for ending a sentence with a preposition is not one of them). I don’t paint walls with much attention to detail or care for neatness, evidenced by the “eh, seems close enough” taping style here:
I have horrible timing while telling jokes. I can’t shoot a pool ball without it sputtering across the table in an unintended direction. I am hopeless at falling asleep on planes or in the car. I look very unnatural in casual games of soccer, as can be seen below.
I am also bad at TV. I can get excited about an upcoming show and will dutifully set my DVR for it, but most often the show will languish, abandoned and unwatched. In the rare chance that I do sit down and tune in, it’s basically a given that I’ll be deep in text conversation with someone, or playing Words with Friends, or painting my nails, or doing pretty much anything but paying attention. I never watch shows when they’re actually airing because commercials grate on me too much.
While this means that I miss out on lots of water cooler chat at the office and that I can’t contribute to any Twitter conversation about Dexter/Revenge/Modern Family, what makes me most sad is that I can’t enjoy today’s blog in its entirety. I LOVE the concept, and there are plenty of posts that I do recognize, but for once I wish I were better at watching the tube. I hope the rest of you more devoted so you can appreciate it all.
Slaughterhouse 90210 takes images from TV shows or movies and attaches a quotation from a famous literary work to them. It’s a similar concept to this blog in that it takes snippets from different cultural/temporal settings and puts them together in an unexpected and insightful way. Here are some that I think most everyone will recognize.
“She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.”
— Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
“‘There’s a look little girls have who are adored by their fathers,’ Bea said. ‘It’s that facial expression of being totally impervious to the badness of the world. If they can keep that look into their twenties, they’re pretty much okay, they’ve got a force field around them.’”
—Maile Meloy, Both Ways Is the Only Way I Want It
“Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agised as in that hour left my lips: for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.”
— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
Slaughterhouse 90210 is great for anyone who likes a side of snob with their pop culture, and it’s making me seriously consider putting More TV Time on my New Year’s Resolutions for 2012.
(Images courtesy of Lucy and Slaughterhouse 90210)